Slime Bucket

Do you remember when you first met me?  Do you remember how I was desperately jealous of all my friends because they were married?  Well, I had never really given that much thought.  To me, marriage had always meant having someone there who loves you no matter your flaws and who is at your side no matter what.  That is what I always thought.  Until now.

Jessica called.  I had just gotten home, had literally just stepped in the door and barely had my coat off when the phone rang.  She knew this was the time I normally get home so I automatically assumed she had in car accident and was dying in the hospital.

She was crying when I answered.  But she didn't sound hurt; she sounded angry.

"You'll never believe what that slime bucket did."

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me.  "What slime bucket?"

"Mike.  Do you know what that slime bucket did?"

Mike was Jessica's husband.  I didn't know him very well.  I had only met him a handful of times.

"No, what happened?"

"I found out he had been cheating on me and had been for months."

"What?  How?"

"Syphilis."

She was sobbing so hard I could barely understand her. 

"What?"

"You heard me."

Suddenly, I felt very dizzy and sat down.  How awful for her.  I had never been in this situation before, so I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do."

Home Again, Home Again

I have not been home since I moved so today was the day.  I had it planned in advance and made the trip, making a point to visit Granny and my brother before my parents.

Mama made an early dinner.  She had made my favorites.  Just as I was feeling loved, she turned to me and said, "Fran, I know the only reason you came home is because your grandmother is leaving."

Dad, upon hearing this, spit out his coffee but said nothing.

"Why would you say that, Mama."

"Because I know you.  You've always loved her grandmother more than me.  Once she leaves you'll probably never come back."

Dad pushed his plate back, stood and left the room.  Did he sense an argument coming?

"What do you mean?"

"You've always preferred her company, spending time with her, having conversation."

"Are you jealous, Mama?"

At that moment, Mama burst into tears, full blown, sobbing tears.  She was breathing heavily.  "I'm very jealous.  You're my daughter, not hers,"  she somehow managed to say.

For a minute or two I stood here dumbfounded.  What was a I supposed to say or do?  I grabbed my napkin and ran over to her side, threw my arm around her and wiped her nose.

"There, there, Mama, I really do love you."

Movie Sized

You may be wondering what happened to Bill's finger.  Well, we went to stat care where they x-rayed it, cleaned it and stitched it up.  He has to leave it bandaged up for a while, just to be on the safe side.  He's otherwise okay.

Tonight we decided to go to the movies.  We hadn't been to the movies in a while.  We figured we both needed a good laugh so we picked a comedy.  To save money, we bought one large drink and one large popcorn to share.

Throughout the course of the movie, we passed both the popcorn and the drink back and forth.

At one point, midway through, Bill reached for the cup with his injured hand.  The cup slipped from his grasp where it landed on my lap and spilled everywhere.

I shrieked and jumped up.  At first Bill didn't know what happened.  People sitting in the rows behind us started to shout at me to sit down. 

"I'm cold and wet," I shouted back, "I will not sit down."

Someone shouted an obscenity about me being wet.  Bill shouted back at him.  I thought they were going to fight.  I was frightened.

Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, they did not fight.  I ran off to the bathroom for paper towels.

The Parrot

"What kind of pet should I get?"

"I don't know.  What kind do you like?"

"Birds," Bill said.  "I've always liked birds.  Do you like birds?"

"They're okay.  I'm not a big fan of their poop."

We stepped inside the pet store and smell of animal hit me immediately.  I wrinkled my nose and tried not to start coughing.  What did Bill need a pet for anyway?  He worked for 40 plus hours a week.  We went out a lot.  Why a pet?

"Maybe a fish.  You are gone a lot, Bill."

"No, I like birds."

I sighed.  Fine, let's go look at birds.  I rolled my eyes.  Seemed nothing would dissuade him now.

We went over to the bird section.  A parrot was sitting on a perch outside a cage.

"Oh, look at him," Bill said and reached to pet the parrot.

He yelped and pulled his finger back.  "He bit me."

"You're bleeding.  You're bleeding."

I started jumping up and down, flailing my arms.  The manager ran over, concerned, concerned he was going to be sued.

"You shouldn't have done that, sir.  You come in here at your own risk.  You can't sue us."

"Bandage him up," I said.

The manage brought over a paper towel and we left to take Bill to stat care.

Retirement Community

Granny called me today.  Ever since her visit to the city our relationship as been like it used to be -- good.  So I was shocked when she called me.  We had been talking about at the same time on the same day every week.

At first I thought something was horribly wrong.

"Wrong?  No, I feel all right,"  Granny said.  "I do have something to tell you and you're the last to know."

I was still convinced she was sick or dying until she said it.  "Fran, I've decided to move to a retirement community in Florida."

I couldn't believe it.  "What?  Why?"

"It's a number of reasons.  I'm getting tired of winters. But mostly it's because I have no friends my own age to spend time with.  I need that right now."

"But that's so far away.  Isn't there somewhere closer you could move to?"

"I could, I suppose, but I know some of the ladies who live down there, so I won't be alone when I move."

"Oh."  I sat there, not know what to say.

"Fran, are you there?"

How long had I sat there not saying anything?  I wasn't sure.  I shook my head even though Granny couldn't see me.

"Yes, I'm here.  How can you leave?  I need you."

"You don't need me, Fran.  You're a grown woman with much life ahead of her."

"But I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too.  But don't worry about me.  I'll see you plenty of times before I go."

The Trade

When I got here, I had to buy a parka.  Now I'm leaving here and I want to get rid of the parka, but how?  I'm afraid I'm going to have to pay for extra baggage if I bring this thing along but I want my money back.  At least some of my money, any of my money.

But who is going to want to buy a parka in the middle of Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport?  But I don't want it. 

Please, please, if you are reading this, buy my parka.  I need to the money to buy something that really matters.

Please.

I'll even trade the parka for something else.  Anyone care to trade?

Aurora

Up North here there is this thing called the Aurora Borealis.  I've heard of it, I suppose, but I never knew what it was.  I figured it was some girl with a weird name. But last night we went out into the middle of nowhere to see the aurora.

We had a tour guide, which was a good thing because I was terrified of the wilderness.  I've heard one too many stories of people being eaten by bears or disappearing into the forest and never coming back.  This vacation is great and all but I'm looking forward to returning to the city.

So we went with a tour guide and a bus full of other people.  We seemed to drive forever and ended up stopping somewhere where the glare of light pollution was negligible.

All the ribbons of light in the sky!  It was very beautiful although I'm not sure they photographed very well.

Bill kept his arm around me the entire time.  I'd like to think it was because he was being romantic but really it was so we both would feel warmer.  Thank goodness for this hideous parka but I am still freezing.

Two more days here and then we're headed home.