Dippy Dorothy

I wish I had Dorothy's job.  Well, not her actual job, the ease of her job.

She comes in every morning and, after logging into her computer, disappears.  She'll return a while later carrying her coffee and laughing with the people she hangs out with out of the office.

When she finally sits down at her desk, I'm the most nervous.  From her office she can stare directly at the back of my neck.  My pretty sure she's sending me subliminal messages to quit.  We don't get along all that well.  I can tell by how she speaks to me.

Not only do I get crapped on at every opportunity but Dorothy doesn't even do her job.  Whenever callers ask to speak to a supervisors, which is often, we can't just forward her the calls.  Oh, no, we have to check first and see if she is free.  Most times we can't find her because she isn't at her desk.  And then even if she is at her desk, she'll say to tell the caller she is unavailable and that we should handle it ourselves.

One day, not long ago, I found out how much supervisor positions make at SAT TV.  It was sickening.  I get paid next to nothing, am highly in debt and am stressed out the wazoo.  But Dorothy, uggg, must be nice.

Hurts Rent-A Vehicle

Finally, I'm getting my car back.  I don't know what was wrong with it.   I think it was the ignition or the engine or something.  Brandon took care of everything.

It's all been arranged that I can pick my car up at Frank's Garage after work.  The customer service rep at Hurts Rent-A Vehicle said I can leave my rental at the garage they will take care of everything.  I'm so excited.  I'll write more when I'm home.

Later ....

I arrived to pick up my car.  Frank was very nice, although a bit greasy.  He's letting me pay my bill a little bit at a time.

The Hurts Rent-A-Vehicle person was there, too, with his bill.  He handed it to me with a smile and asked what form of payment I wanted to use.

I glanced over the bill and it was enormous, much more than we discussed.

"When I called you Monday morning, you said it would be $10 a day.  This is three times that."

"It was $10 a day, but only if you rented your vehicle before 5 p.m. when the sale price ended and we reverted back to the regular price.  You rented your car at 5:15."

What?  I stared at him and he must have thought I was an idiot.  Was this a bait and switch?  I wanted to report him to the Better Business Bureau.

"I can't afford that.  I have a repair bill to pay plus I had to put gas in your horribly ugly car."

"If you don't pay, I'll report you to the police."

From behind the register, Frank cleared his throat and began walking away.  He probably thought I was about to cause trouble in his store.

The Hurts Rent-A Vehicle guy and I stared each other down.  But finally he won and I pulled out credit card, which was declined.  So were three other cards.

"See, I told you I couldn't afford it.  My cards are all maxed.  It's the price I pay for having a job that pays next to nothing."

Just as I could envision the cops pulling up to take me away, Frank offered to pay what I could not and I could pay him back.  I am very grateful and very broke.

Saturday

Normally I love Saturdays.  I get to sleep in and have a leisurely day.  No work, no thoughts of work or how I'm a failure.

Today I was reminded of how I am a failure.  Remember how I said all my friends are married?  Well, some have children.  My friend Jessica is about to have her first.  Saturday was the baby shower.

The baby is going to be named Mackenzie.  Apparently I'm the only one who remembers those Spuds Mackenzie commercials because the name reminds of a dog every time I hear it.  Truly awful.  But Jessica and so many others seem to love it.

The baby shower was excruciating.  I saw all my friends -- all the ones who are happy and satisfied with their lives.  There were so many gifts, so, so many gifts.  And then there was Jessica.  She looked pregnant and fantastic at the same time.  How is that possible?

I looked around at all my friends.  Why do they have all the things they want and I have nothing?  They have good jobs, nice houses, husbands and children.  I want that, yet life has seen fit to not give it to me.  What am I doing wrong?  Why is karma out to get me?  Why, why, why?

Friday

Friday morning.  Last day of work.  I get out of bed, begrudgingly, and my light doesn't come on. 

I squinted in the dark.  I figured my light bulb had just burned out.  I made my way to the bathroom and somehow managed to stub both big toes.  When I made it there, I discovered it wasn't my light bulb.  I had no electricity.  I couldn't believe it.  Two mornings in a row this week something has happened.  What next?  Was a meteor going to fall from the sky and squash me flat?

I turned on the sink and discovered to my horror that I had absolutely no hot water.  None.  How was I going to shower?  It's too cold outside to shower in cold water.  Even in the middle of summer I wouldn't shower in cold water.  It's insane.  I didn't know what to do.

I panicked as I made my way through the house.  I went rummaging through my kitchen drawers.  I needed candles and matches, a flashlight and batteries.  Why am I so disorganized?

Finally, I found what I needed and my bathroom became a small disaster area.  I had to take a sponge bath in freezing cold water.  I put on a ton of deodorant and perfume then tried doing my makeup.  I did the best I could.

When I was in the car, I looked at myself.  I was a clown.  My lipstick was too thick.  My eyeshadow too wide and dark.  I put my head down on the steering wheel and cried.  Then I called off sick.

Thursday

I love my Granny Fletcher.  I try to visit her whenever I can.

When I was a little girl, Granny and I always have the best times.   We would talk and share secrets and she made me feel special.  Sometimes I wish I was still a little girl.

"So, Fran, I heard Lilly is engaged.  I imagine you are happy for her."

"Yes, very happy."

I told Granny I was happy but I'm not really.  I feel sad and alone and sooooo old.

"When was your last date, dear?"

"The other day."

Oh, please, don't remind me of Brian.  I was hoping Granny wouldn't ask me how it went and luckily it didn't.  Instead she brought up something much worse.

"You'll be turning 30 soon and I don't want you to die an old maid.  I think it's about time I gave you some pointers."

Pointers?  What sort of pointers could an 80 year old give when it comes to dating in the 21st century?  Last time Granny had a date Eisenhower was in office.  A lot has changed since then.

"Maybe you're boring in the bedroom, dear.  Have you tried -- "

"Granny."

"I'm only trying to help.  But sometimes I feel like you don't know what to give a man."

I, I, I don't know what to give a man?  I couldn't even answer.  I couldn't even open my mouth.  What was Granny saying?  That I was a horrible lover.  No, grandmothers don't think about such things.  No, she couldn't mean that.  She watches too much TV.

"You're 30th birthday is coming, Fran.  It's all downhill from here."

Wednesday

I can't say that I have a lot of friends.  I did once, but a lot of them moved away and we lost contact.  Of the ones I still have left, all but Lilly are married, some have kids and rarely have time for me.

Lilly has a boyfriend, but she still makes time for me and I appreciate that.  I don't know what I would do if I was the last one to get married.  It would be devastating.

It was late when my phone rang.  It scared me.  I thought for sure it had to be an emergency because no one calls me that late unless it's an emergency.  I saw it was Lilly's number coming up on my caller ID. 

Lilly sounded out of breath on the phone.  Now, I was really worried.  She was talking so quickly I couldn't understand her.  Finally I told her to slow down and repeat what she had been saying.

"Jerry asked me to marry him," she said.  "And I said yes.  Oh, Fran, you'll have to help me plan the wedding.  It will be so much fun.  You will help me, won't you?"

I was caught off guard.  Of course, I told her, anything she wanted.

And with that the phone call was over.  Lilly was getting married.  And that make me the last single friend standing. 

I feel sick.

Tuesday

My boss at SAT TV is named Dorothy.  Her office sits behind my cubicle making me feel like I'm on pins and needles all the time.  Dorothy doesn't work, at least not as much as the rest of the department.  I've caught her filing her nails at her desk a time or two.

Around ten, Dorothy called me into her desk.  I figured it was because I had been late the day before.  I tried to explain to her that I did make the time I missed but she cut me off.

"It's not about that.  How many accounts do you currently have?"

"Um, well, I have the entire state of Florida and the Dakotas and when someone is on vacation, I fill in." 

Dorothy leaned forward and somehow managed to say with a straight face, "Don't you think you should be doing more?"

More?  I swallowed and felt my hands start to shake.  I just knew she was going to fire me.  How would I pay for my car repairs?

"Yes, more," Dorothy said.  "You'll be doing California."

"All of it?"

Dorothy rolled her eyes as if I were a silly child.  "Yes, all of it.  Crystal quit so we need someone to fill in."

"So it's only temporary?" 

It wasn't so bad if it was only temporary.

"No, it's permenant.  We won't be replacing her.  Oh and, Fran, there is no pay raise either so don't even ask?"

I walked out of Dorothy's office feeling numb.  More work for the same pay at a job I hate.  Am I being punished for something?