Thirty

Today is my 30th birthday.  Today!  The end is near.  I can feel it. 

I'll get a bunch of gag gifts that say 30 on them.  They'll be black.  Next will come the "you're not getting any younger" comments.  Granny will lecture me on becoming an old maid. 

I'm not married, I have a dead end job, I live in this boring small town.  I'm going back to bed.