Friday, July 13, 2012


I love my Granny Fletcher.  I try to visit her whenever I can.

When I was a little girl, Granny and I always have the best times.   We would talk and share secrets and she made me feel special.  Sometimes I wish I was still a little girl.

"So, Fran, I heard Lilly is engaged.  I imagine you are happy for her."

"Yes, very happy."

I told Granny I was happy but I'm not really.  I feel sad and alone and sooooo old.

"When was your last date, dear?"

"The other day."

Oh, please, don't remind me of Brian.  I was hoping Granny wouldn't ask me how it went and luckily it didn't.  Instead she brought up something much worse.

"You'll be turning 30 soon and I don't want you to die an old maid.  I think it's about time I gave you some pointers."

Pointers?  What sort of pointers could an 80 year old give when it comes to dating in the 21st century?  Last time Granny had a date Eisenhower was in office.  A lot has changed since then.

"Maybe you're boring in the bedroom, dear.  Have you tried -- "


"I'm only trying to help.  But sometimes I feel like you don't know what to give a man."

I, I, I don't know what to give a man?  I couldn't even answer.  I couldn't even open my mouth.  What was Granny saying?  That I was a horrible lover.  No, grandmothers don't think about such things.  No, she couldn't mean that.  She watches too much TV.

"You're 30th birthday is coming, Fran.  It's all downhill from here."
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