Wednesday, February 27, 2013

A Suitor

I haven't mentioned it in a while, but class has been going well.  I still go, haven't missed a class, and I still do my studies online.  It's just that with everything else going on lately I haven't mentioned it.  The other things were just so much more interesting.

Chad sits next to me in class a lot.  I don't really know anything about his background.  We chat on occasion, just about school and stuff.

A few days ago, he called me aside when we were all leaving class.  He seemed nervous.  I figured it was probably about our upcoming test but turns out something else was on his mind.

"Um, Fran," he said rubbing his neck and looking down at my shoes, "I like you a lot and we're not going to be in this class for many more months.  I was wondering if, um, you'd go out with me sometime.  Just for coffee or something like that."

"Well, Chad, I'm very flattered, but I have a boyfriend.  I had one before I even started this course."

He looked at me then down again.  "Oh.  I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"No, don't feel bad.  You didn't know."

I walked away then.  I felt that staying there longer would just make the situation worse.  I felt bad for Chad but I felt good for myself.  That's the first time in my whole life that a guy has asked me out and I've been able to say I have a boyfriend.  Usually I just had to go out with whoever because I didn't have any other choices.

Now, hopefully Chad's not a stalker.

Monday, February 25, 2013

It Ain't Me

A few months ago, you would be hard pressed to hear me say what I am about it say.  But I am so glad I'm me.  I have finally discovered there are people worst off than I am.  It could be worse.  I could be Jessica.

Jessica has been a nervous wreck for days.  She's always crying.  I'm not sure who cries more, her or Mackenzie. 

She can't find a job.  I know she's tried.  For real this time, not the sale consultant crap. 

Her marriage is in ruins.  She was cheated on, given a disease.  He was the breadwinner and, because she left, he has the house and will no doubt get to keep it now.

She is flat out miserable.

I, meanwhile, have a job that pays me well enough to live alone in a decent neighborhood.  I have a man who treats me well.

I am so glad I am not Jessica.  So glad.

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Attorney

Why am I always taking time off for my friends?   First, it was Lilly and the awful pink.  Now it's Jessica and the attorney.

I didn't want to go.  I didn't think they would let me into the room anyway, seeing as I'm not a relative.  I had to stay in the waiting room with Mackenzie.

I looked around the room and immediately felt uncomfortable.  It was like a doctor's office, nicely decorated and clean but you know nothing nice is going on behind the closed doors.  We were the only ones there.

I grabbed a magazine off the side table and tried reading.  They were business magazines and I immediately felt stupid.  Note to self:  I need to get more educated on current events.

After what seemed like forever, Jessica came out of the attorney's office, tissue in hand, again crying.

"So did you go through with it?"

She shook her head yes and bare got out a verbal response.  "I did it.  The paperwork is going to be filed."

I was happy for her.  She did the right thing.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Argument

Other than relatives I have never had a roommate before.  Sure Jessica and Mackenzie stay in the spare bedroom but their stuff is everywhere.  Sometimes I hear conversations Jessica has with other people while on the phone.  I don't mean to overhear but sometimes it's unavoidable.

Like tonight. 

Jessica was saying, "You're such a liar.  How could you say I gave it to you?  I was tested while I was pregnant and I was healthy then.

"Oh, yeah?  And when would I have had time to do that?  If you haven't noticed, I've been busy taking care of my daughter.

"I don't care if she's half yours.  I don't see you begging to see her.  I don't see you making an effort.

"Yeah, well, you'll have to pay alimony and child support.  No more new sports cars for you.

"Well, you should have thought of that before, shouldn't you have?

"Back at ya, creep."

She hung up.  I tried to walk away quickly but she knew I was there.  She burst into tears and started crying on my shoulder. 

"My life is coming to an end," she said.

Monday, February 18, 2013


I can't tell you how many times I've disinfected my living room after Jessica's product party.  I still feel dirty sitting in there.

I offered to babysit today so Jessica could go look for a real job.  I helped her pick out a dress and did her makeup.  She looked very professional.  I know she has plans to apply to a few places in person and go down to the unemployment office for advice.  Good luck there, but I didn't tell her that.

Mackenzie has been crying the entire time she's been gone.  I don't know what to do.  I don't babysit, she doesn't get a real job.  I do babysit and I'm stuck with a baby.

I've changed her and fed her.  She's in her crib now.  Crying.  I'm guessing she misses her mother.  Can a baby miss her mother?

Maybe she could use some chocolate milk.  All kids like chocolate milk, right?  I'll have to look that up online.

I just hope Jessica is having some luck.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Toys! Toys! Toys?

I came home from work to find my living room filled with strange women.  I paused, unseen, in the kitchen and listened to what was going on.  There was a lot of giggling. 

After a few minutes, I heard Jessica's voice.  She was saying something about quality and fit and driving a man wild.  Then she held up a piece of lingerie.  She passed it around for the crowd to see.

The next thing she showed them was a bottle of lotion.  She talked about quality for the price and how it was edible.  It, too, she passed around the room.

Then she held up a sex toy and started to demonstrate it.

I had had enough.  I walked into the living room as if I was just arriving home and said, "What in the hell is going on here?"

The women turned and looked at me.  I didn't recognize any of them.  Who were these people?

Jessica excused herself and went with me into the kitchen. 

"Well, you told me to get a job.  That's what I did."

"You have got to be kidding me.  You have sex toys in my house!"

"Yeah.  I'm a sales consultant for Lovey Dubbie Products.  They sell lingerie and all that other stuff.  I get a commission off everything I sell."

"When I said get a job, I meant a real job.  One with a steady paycheck and benefits.  Not one where you have to throw sex parties."

"That's not technically a sex party, Fran."

I held both my hands up.  "It doesn't matter.  Finish up and get them out of here.  You should be ashamed of taking advantage of these people."

Jessica went back to her party.  I got my keys and went out for a drink.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Get a Job

Since when have I been forced to be an adult?  Well, let me explain myself.  I have been an adult for a while, but I had no one I was responsible for but me.  Now, I feel like I have Jessica to be responsible for, too. 

She's now my roommate, I suppose, technically, but she does nothing other than take care of Mackenzie.  I'm still doing all the cooking and cleaning.  More importantly, I'm still paying all the rent myself.  So now I feel like a parent with a unruly teenager.  We're the same age, but, geez, act like it.

"Jessica, how long do you think you'll be living here?"

"Until things get resolved with Mike, I suppose."

"When might that be?"

"I don't know.  I'm going to divorce him.  I just haven't had the guts yet to go get a lawyer."

"Oh."  Great, she was going to be here for a while longer, making what I was about to say necessary.  "If you're going to be staying here for a long time, I'm going to have to insist you get a job.  You're going to have to build up a resume and save some money so you can get a place of your own."

"How am I going to work with a newborn?"

"How do other moms do it?  If they can do it, so can you.  You don't want to rely on Mike for money if you're going to get a divorce."

She shook her head.  "No, I don't want to rely on that slime bucket.  I'll start tomorrow."

Good.  I was pleased.  That went better than I expected.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Hair, Glorious Hair

I got a late start on dying my hair, about a 24-hour late start.  I was so interrupted by Jessica showing up that I forgot about it until almost the last minute.  Then when I got to it I was still distracted and didn't read the instructions.

I thought to myself, how difficult can it be to dye hair?  It's just a bottle and nothing else?

I shook the bottle, put it on my hair and waited a while. I'm not sure how long.  I got caught into a conversation with Jessica and then my phone rang and then I stopped to watch the weather forecast on the local news.  By the time I rinsed some time had passed.

I rinsed my hair and, without looking in the mirror, went to get my blow dryer. 

Jessica walked into the room and began laughing.  "Are you going to a Halloween party?"

"Why would I be going to a Halloween party this time of year?"

"Well, why would you want your hair that color if it's not a Halloween party?  You're not 15."

"What are you talking about?  Lots of women have blond hair.  What's wrong with blond hair?"

I was starting to get really upset.  All I wanted was a change and I get made fun of.

"Honey," Jessica grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward the mirror, "look at yourself."

My hair was green!  I let out a scream.

"You'll have to have a hair salon redo it."

"What am I going to do?"

"I just told you.  You'll have to have a hair salon fix it."

"It's a Saturday night, Jessica.  And my date is in an hour.  Bill, will be here in an hour."

"Wear a nice hat."

I felt lightheaded and fainted.

Friday, February 8, 2013


I pulled in under the carport, relieved it was Friday.  Bill was stuck at a business meeting so it was going to be a quiet evening at home before a date tomorrow night.  I had plans to dye my hair blond for a party we were going to.

I went inside the house and turned on the lights.  Not long after, the doorbell rang.  I wasn't expecting anyone so the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.  I looked out the peephole.  It was Jessica.

I opened the door.  Jessica was standing there with Mackenzie and a suitcase.

"I'm moving in," she said before even saying hello.

I shook my head, eyes wide.

"You said to let you know if there was anything you could do."

"Yes, but, I, I mean."

"Good.  I have more stuff in the car.  I'll get it later."

Huh, what had just happened?

"Jessica, what do you mean you're moving in?"

"I left home.  I couldn't stand to be in the same house as Mike anymore."

I thought when couples had fights, it was the man who always left.  Had I missed something?

"Don't stand there looking like a deer in headlights, Fran.  I left the slime bucket.  I packed some stuff and left while he was at work.  Mike has no clue where I am.  We had a huge blowout fight last night.  He said he has always been faithful to me.  He said I was lying, that I was the one who cheated.  I was sick, sick."

"He has no clue where you are?"

Jessica shook her head.  "No, and I want to keep it that way."

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Slime Bucket

Do you remember when you first met me?  Do you remember how I was desperately jealous of all my friends because they were married?  Well, I had never really given that much thought.  To me, marriage had always meant having someone there who loves you no matter your flaws and who is at your side no matter what.  That is what I always thought.  Until now.

Jessica called.  I had just gotten home, had literally just stepped in the door and barely had my coat off when the phone rang.  She knew this was the time I normally get home so I automatically assumed she had in car accident and was dying in the hospital.

She was crying when I answered.  But she didn't sound hurt; she sounded angry.

"You'll never believe what that slime bucket did."

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me.  "What slime bucket?"

"Mike.  Do you know what that slime bucket did?"

Mike was Jessica's husband.  I didn't know him very well.  I had only met him a handful of times.

"No, what happened?"

"I found out he had been cheating on me and had been for months."

"What?  How?"


She was sobbing so hard I could barely understand her. 


"You heard me."

Suddenly, I felt very dizzy and sat down.  How awful for her.  I had never been in this situation before, so I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do."

Monday, February 4, 2013

Home Again, Home Again

I have not been home since I moved so today was the day.  I had it planned in advance and made the trip, making a point to visit Granny and my brother before my parents.

Mama made an early dinner.  She had made my favorites.  Just as I was feeling loved, she turned to me and said, "Fran, I know the only reason you came home is because your grandmother is leaving."

Dad, upon hearing this, spit out his coffee but said nothing.

"Why would you say that, Mama."

"Because I know you.  You've always loved her grandmother more than me.  Once she leaves you'll probably never come back."

Dad pushed his plate back, stood and left the room.  Did he sense an argument coming?

"What do you mean?"

"You've always preferred her company, spending time with her, having conversation."

"Are you jealous, Mama?"

At that moment, Mama burst into tears, full blown, sobbing tears.  She was breathing heavily.  "I'm very jealous.  You're my daughter, not hers,"  she somehow managed to say.

For a minute or two I stood here dumbfounded.  What was a I supposed to say or do?  I grabbed my napkin and ran over to her side, threw my arm around her and wiped her nose.

"There, there, Mama, I really do love you."

Friday, February 1, 2013

Movie Sized

You may be wondering what happened to Bill's finger.  Well, we went to stat care where they x-rayed it, cleaned it and stitched it up.  He has to leave it bandaged up for a while, just to be on the safe side.  He's otherwise okay.

Tonight we decided to go to the movies.  We hadn't been to the movies in a while.  We figured we both needed a good laugh so we picked a comedy.  To save money, we bought one large drink and one large popcorn to share.

Throughout the course of the movie, we passed both the popcorn and the drink back and forth.

At one point, midway through, Bill reached for the cup with his injured hand.  The cup slipped from his grasp where it landed on my lap and spilled everywhere.

I shrieked and jumped up.  At first Bill didn't know what happened.  People sitting in the rows behind us started to shout at me to sit down. 

"I'm cold and wet," I shouted back, "I will not sit down."

Someone shouted an obscenity about me being wet.  Bill shouted back at him.  I thought they were going to fight.  I was frightened.

Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, they did not fight.  I ran off to the bathroom for paper towels.
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