Speech

I never took a speech class in my life.  One isn't required now, although it would have been had I taken the traditional four year course of study.  Then I spent years on a job where I had to be on the phone all the time.  I hate crowds.  I hate speaking in front of crowds.  I hate talking to strangers on the phone.

Yet here I am ready to talk in front of a strange crowd of, well, strangers.  My heart is beating so fast I think I'm going to have a heart attack and I've gone pee about 16 times.

I'm at the university about to give a ten minute talk on my experiences in the fast track program to a group of potential students.  I hadn't attended one of these before I signed up but it was available.

Dr. Clark chose me to speak.  I'm honored, I guess, but this is tough.  Oh, no, it's almost my turn and I have to go to the bathroom again.

* * *

Oh, wow, the speech is over.  Am I ever relieved.  And even better, I nailed it.  The crowd seemed interested while I was talking.  They applauded me when I was done.  Dr. Clark even told me I did a good job and he's tough to please.

I am so relieved.  But I don't want to have to do it again.

PowerPoint

Dr. Clark had assigned us a PowerPoint presentation.  PowerPoint is actually a pretty easy program to use and it's not technically graphic design, but he really had other motives in mind. 

We were assigned one of six words or phrases and then had to design a five minute presentation about it.  I got "set goals".

So I gave it some thought and came up with a list of reasons to set goals.  I did this by compiling stuff I read online.  I showed Bill and he said it was very boring.  I was disappointed but decided to try a different direction.  Bill suggested I use my own reasons not the ones of so-called experts.

So today was the presentation.  I started with a slide about school and how we must set goals early to make it through school with good grades then I talked about professional goals and personal goals that come up in adult life.  I talked about how goal setting never ends or else you get stuck in a rut.

When I finished, Clark didn't say anything.  He was writing on my presentation notes.  Finally, he looked up and started applauding. 

"See, students, this is what I was looking for.  I was looking for you to use your creativity, not for you to give me a list of items you found on the Internet.  I was looking to test you and your creative skills not your PowerPoint skills."

He excused me to go sit down and I went back to my seat, smiling, content that I just earned myself a good score.

The Grade

Remember my horrible, career killing test?

Well, today we got results back. Dr. Clark called us one and a time to give us our tests back so we could go over it in class before moving on to the next part of the course.

"Fran Fletcher."

I took my test when he handed it to me but didn't look at it until I got back to my seat.  I had seen so many of my classmates look upset when they received theirs.

I took a deep breath and turned it over.  There on the page was a mark made by the computer that had graded the test.  It said --  98% A?  How was that possible?  Maybe Dr. Clark had made a mistake and given me someone else's test, but, no, my name was on it in my hand writing.

I couldn't believe it.  How did I score so highly when I thought I had so completely failed?

When Dr. Clark had finished handing out the tests, he said, "Normally, I don't need to do this.  Normally, I just post test results and that's it, but it's clear to me that many of you need a review before we continue.  I really don't think some of you even cracked open a book for this test.  The highest grade we had in this class was a 98 percent but the vast majority of you scored in the 70s."

He went on talking but I had stopped listening.  A 98 percent was the highest in the class?  Did I have the highest test score of everyone?

Test Taker

A, B, C, D or F.  Those are the only choices.  Which one will it be?

I took my first test today since high school.  It covered a lot of material, I repeat, a lot of material, a mind-blowing amount of material.  Once we finish this part of the course it's on to the next part, but this part of the course is important.  Fail it and it's an uphill battle.

Something tells me I failed it.  I can't explain it.  It's a sickness in the pit of my stomach. 

During the entire test my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  I chewed my nails down to nubs and broke three pencils.  I finished a lot sooner than everyone else, too, which tells me I just guessed on a lot of material to get finished.  It was multiple choice so I just picked whatever sounded right.

What do I know about graphic design?

The Shadow

It took some time to settle into my new home.  I won't lie.  I thought by simply making the change I would feel better, but that wasn't the case.  It took me three weeks before I could sleep through the night without waking up.

Mama is still convinced I'm going to come running home.  Either way, she says, I'm screwed.  I'll either be paying a mortgage for nothing or I'll be breaking a lease.  Little does she know I found a short-term renter for my old house.  It's some guy who is moving to the county and is looking for a place to stay while he decides where to live.  I made him sign a three-month lease.  If the house doesn't sell before that, I'll auction it off.

Anyway, I did something today that is pretty ambitious.  I went up to Net Tech on my lunch hour and asked all kinds of questions.  I found out all about what a typical life is like.  I also found out graphic artists make a lot more money than I do without all the hassles.

I was very careful not to let Bill see me.  I don't think I would know what to say if I came across him.  That I'm researching careers because I loath where I work?  That I was too stupid to go to college at age 18 like everyone else?  That I really, really want to work where he does so I can see him everyday?

I found out a lot of information.  Still don't think I'm ready to sign up for classes.