I often see Bill at lunch. Sometimes we even share a table and we chat.
Even though Bill works at a company that employs graphic artists, I've never told him I signed up for graphic design classes and that they start in a few weeks. I'm afraid what he might think. Well, I mean, I think he would be okay with me going back to school, especially considering the program I'm in. It's what I've decided to study that makes me nervous. I don't want him to think I'm doing this because of him or that, worse, that I have some sort of adolescent crush on him.
We're adults here. We're not supposed to have crushes on people, right? You're just kinda supposed to know, aren't you? Just know.
I've never really had that. I've always just gone out with anyone mildly attractive who found me attractive. Maybe that's my problem. I never knew.
But today's lunch threw me for a loop. We were having a quiet lunch when Bill said, "We've been having lunch most work days for a while. What do you think that means?"
"It means we're too cheap to go out and buy our lunch."
Bill laughed so hard he knocked over an entire bag of pretzels that went spewing all over the table. "I like you, Fran."
"You do?" I cleared my throat. "I mean, of course you do."
"So I was wondering if you'd share another meal with me. Do you like seafood?"
I looked up at him, dumbfounded. "You mean like fish and stuff?"
"Yeah, fish and stuff. I know you haven't lived in the city for too long so I wanted to take you to this little place I know that has excellent lobster."
Lobster? I finally got it. Bill was asking me out? Yes, he was asking me out. Don't say anything stupid, Fran. Don't say anything stupid.
"Sure I would love to."
"Wonderful," Bill said, "it's a date then."
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Straw
The talk with Dorothy was the straw that broke the camel's back, so I finally did it. Yes, the thing I've been talking about for a while now. I finally went and signed up for college classes.
I told the admissions person that I was super nervous about being a student again and that I was ultra super nervous about being the oldest student there. She told me there is a fast track program available for working professionals. I can get my degree in 18 months taking a combo of classroom and online courses. The only catch is there is no summer semester off and the classroom stuff is for several hours on a Saturday morning. Financial aid is available, too.
I'm okay with that. At least the other students will be older, too. I would die if I were stuck in a roomful of 18 year olds.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I did finally decide on graphic design. I just hope I actually have design skills. Hum, this could be disastrous.
I told the admissions person that I was super nervous about being a student again and that I was ultra super nervous about being the oldest student there. She told me there is a fast track program available for working professionals. I can get my degree in 18 months taking a combo of classroom and online courses. The only catch is there is no summer semester off and the classroom stuff is for several hours on a Saturday morning. Financial aid is available, too.
I'm okay with that. At least the other students will be older, too. I would die if I were stuck in a roomful of 18 year olds.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I did finally decide on graphic design. I just hope I actually have design skills. Hum, this could be disastrous.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Working Holiday
"Fran, come in my office. Now! Please."
The mere sound of Dorothy's voice fills me with chills. I wonder if this is how a pig feels being lead to slaughter.
I finished the call I was on and went into her office. She waved her hand, indicating to me that I should shut the door behind me. Now I was really nervous. Nothing good ever comes from Dorothy wanting the door closed behind me.
"You wanted to see me?"
She squinted her eyes as if she couldn't see me otherwise. "Yes It has been determined that since you are the only one in your department who is single and has no kids -- "
"I doubt if I'm the only one."
"You're the only one. As I was saying, it has been determined that since you are the only one in your department who is single and has no kids that you should work Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and, well, every year."
"Every year?"
"Oh, you'll be compensated with holiday pay at a rate of $10 dollars."
"Ten dollars an hour?"
Dorothy laughed. "No, ten dollars a day extra."
"Oh, but -- "
"You can leave my office now. You have customers waiting."
Dorothy waved her hand again, and I left her office feeling humiliated and angry all at once. Who had determined I should work holidays? Was it really HR like she implied or was it her? I think it was her. No, I know it was her.
At lunch I went and bought a mirror with a stand. I have it facing the door to Dorothy's office so just like she can watch me at all times now I can watch her.
The mere sound of Dorothy's voice fills me with chills. I wonder if this is how a pig feels being lead to slaughter.
I finished the call I was on and went into her office. She waved her hand, indicating to me that I should shut the door behind me. Now I was really nervous. Nothing good ever comes from Dorothy wanting the door closed behind me.
"You wanted to see me?"
She squinted her eyes as if she couldn't see me otherwise. "Yes It has been determined that since you are the only one in your department who is single and has no kids -- "
"I doubt if I'm the only one."
"You're the only one. As I was saying, it has been determined that since you are the only one in your department who is single and has no kids that you should work Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and, well, every year."
"Every year?"
"Oh, you'll be compensated with holiday pay at a rate of $10 dollars."
"Ten dollars an hour?"
Dorothy laughed. "No, ten dollars a day extra."
"Oh, but -- "
"You can leave my office now. You have customers waiting."
Dorothy waved her hand again, and I left her office feeling humiliated and angry all at once. Who had determined I should work holidays? Was it really HR like she implied or was it her? I think it was her. No, I know it was her.
At lunch I went and bought a mirror with a stand. I have it facing the door to Dorothy's office so just like she can watch me at all times now I can watch her.
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Joy Book Club
I thought I would try something new so I joined a book club at the local library branch. I called and signed up over the phone. They told me which book to read and I read it. I had never met any of the other group members until tonight.
"I'd like to introduce to you our newest member, Fran Fletcher," the group leader told everyone else.
They turned and looked at me as if examining me for some sort of intellect between my ears. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
The leader continued, "Well, Fran, why don't we start off with you telling us your thoughts on the symbolism on page 25."
Page 25? I didn't even remember what was on page 25. I started to panic. I needed to say something, anything.
"I really liked it," I said.
I saw one of the others roll their eyes. But at least someone else offered their opinion.
One of the men said, "I thought it was very skillful how the author was able to talk about the hypocrisy of the age under the veiled constructs of social conventions."
"Yes, I agree," another said. "Parts of the novel were very existential."
I sat there dumbfounded. Had they read the same novel I did? I didn't even know what existential meant yet alone how it related to what I had read. It seemed like just an old romance story written 200 years ago to me.
These people were very intellectual. It was obvious they read not just to read but to evaluate. I read just to read. This was nothing like I expected. I'm never going back.
"I'd like to introduce to you our newest member, Fran Fletcher," the group leader told everyone else.
They turned and looked at me as if examining me for some sort of intellect between my ears. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
The leader continued, "Well, Fran, why don't we start off with you telling us your thoughts on the symbolism on page 25."
Page 25? I didn't even remember what was on page 25. I started to panic. I needed to say something, anything.
"I really liked it," I said.
I saw one of the others roll their eyes. But at least someone else offered their opinion.
One of the men said, "I thought it was very skillful how the author was able to talk about the hypocrisy of the age under the veiled constructs of social conventions."
"Yes, I agree," another said. "Parts of the novel were very existential."
I sat there dumbfounded. Had they read the same novel I did? I didn't even know what existential meant yet alone how it related to what I had read. It seemed like just an old romance story written 200 years ago to me.
These people were very intellectual. It was obvious they read not just to read but to evaluate. I read just to read. This was nothing like I expected. I'm never going back.
Friday, October 19, 2012
The Shadow
It took some time to settle into my new home. I won't lie. I thought by simply making the change I would feel better, but that wasn't the case. It took me three weeks before I could sleep through the night without waking up.
Mama is still convinced I'm going to come running home. Either way, she says, I'm screwed. I'll either be paying a mortgage for nothing or I'll be breaking a lease. Little does she know I found a short-term renter for my old house. It's some guy who is moving to the county and is looking for a place to stay while he decides where to live. I made him sign a three-month lease. If the house doesn't sell before that, I'll auction it off.
Anyway, I did something today that is pretty ambitious. I went up to Net Tech on my lunch hour and asked all kinds of questions. I found out all about what a typical life is like. I also found out graphic artists make a lot more money than I do without all the hassles.
I was very careful not to let Bill see me. I don't think I would know what to say if I came across him. That I'm researching careers because I loath where I work? That I was too stupid to go to college at age 18 like everyone else? That I really, really want to work where he does so I can see him everyday?
I found out a lot of information. Still don't think I'm ready to sign up for classes.
Mama is still convinced I'm going to come running home. Either way, she says, I'm screwed. I'll either be paying a mortgage for nothing or I'll be breaking a lease. Little does she know I found a short-term renter for my old house. It's some guy who is moving to the county and is looking for a place to stay while he decides where to live. I made him sign a three-month lease. If the house doesn't sell before that, I'll auction it off.
Anyway, I did something today that is pretty ambitious. I went up to Net Tech on my lunch hour and asked all kinds of questions. I found out all about what a typical life is like. I also found out graphic artists make a lot more money than I do without all the hassles.
I was very careful not to let Bill see me. I don't think I would know what to say if I came across him. That I'm researching careers because I loath where I work? That I was too stupid to go to college at age 18 like everyone else? That I really, really want to work where he does so I can see him everyday?
I found out a lot of information. Still don't think I'm ready to sign up for classes.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
First Night
I can't sleep. I just looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and I look terrible. Good thing I don't have work tomorrow. Otherwise I would have to call off.
So Mama said I was meant to stay in our hometown. I don't want to admit that she's right, but there is too much noise here.
Let me tell you all the things that are annoying me right now.
So Mama said I was meant to stay in our hometown. I don't want to admit that she's right, but there is too much noise here.
Let me tell you all the things that are annoying me right now.
- Traffic
- Pedestrians
- The furnace
- Owls
- The beating of my heart
- The clock in the kitchen
- Raccoons
Monday, October 15, 2012
Moving Day
Today was moving day. My furniture looks so horrible in this new, nicer home but so long as I never invite anyone here no one will be any the wiser that my furniture is crap. Well, they might be if they say Brandon delivering it in his business truck.
If anyone was home and watching, they would know. The Fletcher's Junk truck gave it away.
Of course the day was not perfect. If it wasn't the truck making me die of embarrassment, it was Brandon looking like a slob. Really, the new neighbors probably think some hillbilly has moved next door. How am I going to fit in with these people?
Even the day started out horribly. Before we even left town, the truck got a flat tire. Mama came over while Brandon was fixing it and told me it was a clear sign I wasn't meant to leave.
"How could you say that?"
"You shouldn't leave, Fran. You're meant to be here."
I swallowed hard. I hoped it was all her being dramatic. If I'm meant to be stuck in our small town, then that means I'm meant to be stuck in the life I don't like -- forever.
If anyone was home and watching, they would know. The Fletcher's Junk truck gave it away.
Of course the day was not perfect. If it wasn't the truck making me die of embarrassment, it was Brandon looking like a slob. Really, the new neighbors probably think some hillbilly has moved next door. How am I going to fit in with these people?
Even the day started out horribly. Before we even left town, the truck got a flat tire. Mama came over while Brandon was fixing it and told me it was a clear sign I wasn't meant to leave.
"How could you say that?"
"You shouldn't leave, Fran. You're meant to be here."
I swallowed hard. I hoped it was all her being dramatic. If I'm meant to be stuck in our small town, then that means I'm meant to be stuck in the life I don't like -- forever.
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