Monday, July 16, 2012


Friday morning.  Last day of work.  I get out of bed, begrudgingly, and my light doesn't come on. 

I squinted in the dark.  I figured my light bulb had just burned out.  I made my way to the bathroom and somehow managed to stub both big toes.  When I made it there, I discovered it wasn't my light bulb.  I had no electricity.  I couldn't believe it.  Two mornings in a row this week something has happened.  What next?  Was a meteor going to fall from the sky and squash me flat?

I turned on the sink and discovered to my horror that I had absolutely no hot water.  None.  How was I going to shower?  It's too cold outside to shower in cold water.  Even in the middle of summer I wouldn't shower in cold water.  It's insane.  I didn't know what to do.

I panicked as I made my way through the house.  I went rummaging through my kitchen drawers.  I needed candles and matches, a flashlight and batteries.  Why am I so disorganized?

Finally, I found what I needed and my bathroom became a small disaster area.  I had to take a sponge bath in freezing cold water.  I put on a ton of deodorant and perfume then tried doing my makeup.  I did the best I could.

When I was in the car, I looked at myself.  I was a clown.  My lipstick was too thick.  My eyeshadow too wide and dark.  I put my head down on the steering wheel and cried.  Then I called off sick.

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